You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
