i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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