i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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