Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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