she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
