If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
