my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
