we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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