trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
