not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Come on in and take your pants off
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