so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
