Got a toothbrush?
4 words: hood of his car
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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