Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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