Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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