come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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