If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
