It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Small penises have feelings too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
