The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
