When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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