Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
