When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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