Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
