those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
