dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize