While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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