WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
