I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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