I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
