im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
only you would photoshop your dick
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
