She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
