i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
