do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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