just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
