Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
