i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
