Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Someone signed my nipple.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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