I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize