went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize