i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
