the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
