I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
