I like my sex mixed with concussions.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
