Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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