you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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