Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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