i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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