So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
