idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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