hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we're making bets on your personal life
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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