Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize