Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you bring me the toilet please
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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