well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
