why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
