"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize