He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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