More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
