Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
